Lindsey:
See what your pandas do? Panda attacks man in Chinese zoo
Me:
i know! they are vicious! and delicious.
Lindsey:
He just wanted to cuddle it.
Me:
haha i know. but he was clearly on a hallucinogenic substance.
observe:
crazed man: “that BEAR looks cuddly. im going to hug it.”
the public: “no. no, dont do that. that IS a bear. he will literally bite your arms and legs off.”
panda bear: “brrreaawwwrrrr! a man is intruding my peaceful bear den! i must uphold my panda honor. see my warning and leave! brrreaawwwrrrr!”
crazed man: “you’re all wrong. there are rainbows emitting from his paws. he needs to be hugged……AUUUGHHH! my arms! AUUUGHHH! my legs!”
panda bear: “brrreaawwwrrrr! i like blood!”